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He was funny, charming and seemed to tick many of my boxes.We emailed, texted and phoned and spent many hours talking.
I ended the relationship 3 weeks after my return from the USA for our second visit, five months after we started dating..I visit the USA a few times a year to see friends, and he lived in their state, so I thought I had a good idea of his culture and what he would be like in general.I sensed a real chemistry between us, and thought the relationship had enough potential to give it a chance, even though we lived in different countries.Then a male colleague (and friend) texted me one evening during that visit holidays. I work in the male-dominated field of law enforcement, and I had learned some lessons the hard way during the marriage that had just ended. I tried talking about our cultural differences in this area, and how I had had male friends and male colleagues my entire life.The questions from John followed quickly: Who was he? Both of these experiences have taught me the value of being open and forthright so I didn’t let these red flags slide. I told him he was coming across as insecure and controlling, and that I didn’t like it. I told him the thing he was so afraid of (being hurt and losing me) was the very thing that was happening, due to his smothering behavior.
I live in London, but I met John (not his real name) online last year after being separated from my husband for 9 months.