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He showed me new music, food, and gave me a new perspective to consider.His family welcomed me with open arms and I am a better person because of it.It put me in a box, limiting me in ways I didn’t realize until recently.The more attention I received from black men, the less white men wanted to talk to me, as if I had been eternally branded as a traitor.Friends asked me what it was like dating someone who is black and giggled asking if it was true about “what they say about size.” One friend admitted “I could never date a black guy because I wouldn’t be able to understand what he was saying.” All stereotypes I had been used to hearing about this unchartered territory.

Guys would approach me, rarely avoiding grabbing my butt or asking the question, “So you like black guys?While some people smiled at us as we held hands in D. or walked side by side around the Inner Harbor, others just stared with disapproving eyes.The thing is, people were tolerant, but they were not always accepting.” I became known as that girl who was only interested in dark men and suddenly, the body that took me years to become comfortable with became one I was questioning again.“You have no a**, Erica” one guy commented at one of these parties as LL Cool J’s “Big Ole Butt” blasted through speakers, while another told me he was willing to deal with my lack of a chest because I had “an a** like a dancer.” Many of the songs on the radio by black artists seemed to put emphasis on parts of the body that I was lacking.

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I grew up in one of the seventeen cities in the United States named Rochester (Wikipedia, 2015).